Friday, November 30, 2007

Guess he's not as oblivious as his father

My two and a half year old is a pretty good eater - he will try (or at least lick) most anything I give him, but he does have his preferences. And like any good tri-state area kid, he is a bagel connoisseur - don't be trying to pass off some (easy for me) frozen Lender's mini bagels on him - it must be a full size bagel, from the bagel store.

This morning I toasted and buttered him a bagel (the whole thing, which is huge) and cut it up as usual, in eight pieces. Since I am currently suffering from some mild pregnancy induced TMJ, I am forbidden to eat bagels myself, so when I saw a thin little piece of his, I took it off the plate and ate it before I brought it to His Highness at the table. I put it down in front of him and went back to the kitchen for my coffee, and I hear him yell indignantly, "Hey! Hey, what happened?"

So I came back in and he said, "I missin a piece!" Little stinker. When I fessed up that I'd eaten it, he screwed up his face, pointed his finger and said, "You don't do dat AGAIN!"

At this rate, I won't be able to eat all his Halloween candy next year, either.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

It's not Harvard

So we are now entering the circle of hell known as Manhattan preschool admittance. For anyone living outside NYC, the process of getting your child into preschool usually involves 1. touring the school 2. signing up 3. writing your check. Not so in Manhattan.There are different degrees of lunacy, of course, depending on which schools you want to apply to. But some things are true of all of them. For starters, you must call the schools for applications the day after Labor Day the year BEFORE you want your child to go. Then, in the fall, the school contacts you (the parents) to schedule a tour and an interview. Did you get that? So THEY can interview YOU, the parents, who will NOT be attending the preschool. And by YOU, I mean both parents, because showing up solo for an interview is a big fat strike against you.

Now, this already bugs the shit out of me. First of all, I need to spend the day after Labor Day on the phone with schools? Man, what if I wanted to be on vacation? Of course, some schools starts apps then, and you can continue to call for them after that - those are the only schools I chose, because there is something about thousands of neurotic NYC parents speed dialing the same number on the same day that makes me want to throw myself in front of a bus. I also only chose schools within walking distance of my house, because it's fucking preschool, for God's sake. I'm not schlepping my kid 25 blocks so he can have a more enriching experience with the finger paints, you know what I mean?

The second thing that bugs me about this is the two parent thing. Obviously they don't hold it against you if you're a single parent, or divorced. But some people have JOBS, and maybe they can't just take off on the preschools scheduled day to go check out the playdough station. Why isn't one parent there enough? I mentioned to one of my friends (a former Manhattan preschool teacher herself) that I found this ludicrous, and she disagreed. I said, "What if one of the parents is a SURGEON? Or a nurse? Or a fireman?" And she shrugged and said, "Well, they're also a parent, and they need to show the school that their childs education is a priority." I wanted to grab her and smack her back and forth in the face - your child's EDUCATION? It's absolutely amazing to me that they get so many people to fall for this bullshit. And let me just state right off, that if you can't take a day off because you will lose a days pay and won't be able to pay your bills, they don't care because you will not be able to afford their outrageous tuition anyway. Which brings me around to the third thing that bugs me. There are no other options. Your kid has to go to some grimy daycare or you have to pay a sitter if you don't have money.

Anyway, on to the process. After you do the parent interview, you schedule an interview for your child. They call it a playdate, but here is my question - Why do they need to see my kid play? As far as I can tell, with a few exceptions, they all do the same thing. Especially if you are sending your kid early, at 2 - they want to observe an 18 month old playing with other kids? It's so frustrating. Anyway, the kids come in February, and then you get acceptance or rejection letters in March. And the reason they can get away with this? There are 3 times as many children applying as there are spaces. They sell guides and write magazine articles about getting your kid in, suggesting you apply to at least 15 schools to be sure you get into one. I'm drawing the line, man. I'm applying to my neighborhood schools and that's it - if he doesn't get in, he'll have to stay home and learn to spell with me. Or go to the Y.

And don't let's get started on the emphasis they have already started pushing on FUNDRAISING. It's not enough that I have to pay thousands of dollars to send my kid to school for 3 hours a day, I also have to pimp wrapping paper.

I sometimes make fun of Kansas, but I'm starting to think maybe we should relocate.

Monday, November 26, 2007

It would be so nice

to take a shower just once without the boy standing outside the glass door.

Monday, November 19, 2007

from the land of tea and honey

Last Monday, the boy started sounding a little raspy, and Monday night spiked a fever before bed. And since then, we have been stranded in a sea of tissues, coughing, and snot. The poor kid (and his poor mama) didn't sleep through the night until last night - humidifiers, vaporizors, and Tylenol notwithstanding. I ended up sleeping on the extra bed in his room, since he was waking up choking and coughing, and in the middle of his hacking would hold up his little arms and say, "Mama, I needa hode you."
So now I've got it too - and can't take anything for it, either. I somehow made it through my first pregnancy without illness of any sort, so was unprepared for just how crappy a common cold would make me feel without the dual miracles of DayQuil/NyQuil with which I normally dose up and carry on. He's better now, and slept through the night last night FINALLY, so I know I'll be turning the corner soon.
Except my husband just called me from work to say he has a headache and doesn't feel well, and he's been working like a maniac the past week or so. Which means he'll be worse and more dramatic than the 2 year old.
I love winter. And all those damn nannies who bring their sick charges to preschool.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

I hope those brain cells aren't gone for good

So I am now 25 weeks pregnant with my second son - my first is 2 and a half. I'm also 40. So when I was pregnant with the boy, I first experienced pregnancy brain - but I was working then, and so pretty much holding it together, although I would occasionally forget some obscure word like 'dresser'.
This time, however, I have reached new depths of stupidity - this morning I was randomly clicking around some blogrolls (sick kid, stuck in apartment for 3 days now) and found a link for someone I used to read in the old days. I eagerly went to her blog, caught up a little, and noticed her little link list - clicked on, and found a site about the first months of a new mother in Manhattan..... and then I realized it was mine. I started a blog, way back then, as I somehow couldn't continue my old one once I had a baby - instead of writing about restaurants and dates and crazy people, my life had become all diapers and teething and daytime TV, and I just couldn't make the leap. Anyway, point of this rambling diatribe is that I started a blog and forgot all about it, until today.

I'm hoping it's pregnancy and not old age.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007


I have really missed having a blog - actually, the last time I had one they were called online journals - but have been short on time. Am going to try to keep up with this one, as I'd like some record of these years, raising my kids in NYC.